


Aphelion

by cloudypaws



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Gen, Introspection, yes I wrote an entire fic based on a random filler character in s5, yes this poor girl only got maybe 10 mins of screentime, yes your honor I love her
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-17 02:54:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29710548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloudypaws/pseuds/cloudypaws
Summary: Aphelion:n. the point in the orbit of a planet, asteroid, or comet at which it is furthest from the sun.---Abby’s lungs are full of stardust, and it’s becoming harder and harder to breathe.
Comments: 14
Kudos: 19





	Aphelion

**Author's Note:**

> Abby: *has approximately 10 minutes of screentime overall, and spends about 9.5 of them being angsty and having emotional trauma*
> 
> Jemma: *makes a reference to stars in her vicinity*
> 
> Me: *cracks knuckles* I can work with this.
> 
> \----
> 
> I just really really like pretty words and space motifs and angst-no-plot and meaningless introspection. 
> 
> (For the we love them all challenge over on Discord/Tumblr! Also, I just really liked Abby.)

_“I don’t know what will happen to them if I can’t complete the ceremony.” Her voice crackles. All over again she feels her body tense, the panic flooding into her chest, and she looks to Jemma for stability._

_“That’s where you demonstrate your abilities.” Jemma’s expression is soft and gentle, almost foreign in the Lighthouse. It’s comforting and kind and compassionate, and Abby feels almost instantly compelled to trust her._

_“And then after, I get to go off-planet. Travel the galaxy as an ambassador. It’s a dream.” Her voice grows serious again, full of resolve as she emphasizes, “it’s why I have to learn.”_

Extraordinary _._

The word that condemns her to a lifetime of enslavement, of conquering space rock after space rock all at the whim of Lady Basha. With just five syllables, her life is passed along from one handler to another, and she’s thrust into someone else’s gravity, bending to their every whim just as she’s always supposed to. 

That word is also the key to her family being rewarded, the one that gives them everything they could ever need. Of course, she wants nothing more than to protect them, to ensure their safety and survival. She just needs to live up to everything she’s supposed to be - she needs to be _extraordinary_ \- and she can protect them. 

The very thought stirs up a warm feeling in her chest that almost eclipses the rock-solid lump of uncertainty that’s settled where her heart should be. 

_“I don’t even care what happens to me, I need to do this for them.”_

Abby keeps her head down. She follows orders, even if she doesn’t agree with them; her family is out there, still at the Lighthouse and still enslaved by the Kree, and though it might be foolish and unrealistic, the fear of what Kasius will do to them if she goes her own way spurs her on. 

She’s one of the lucky ones, after all. She has what everyone wants - the chance to go off-planet, to be something more than what Kasius has made them to be. 

She has a gift, whether she is worthy of having it or not. 

But sometimes it feels like a curse, when her body seizes up in excruciating pain. Sometimes it feels like a burden to bear; her life is not her own whether she has her power or not, but now she’s property, valued at a high price, bought and sold off again, worth her weight in gold. Sometimes it feels like a scourge on her soul, when her arm is covered in crimson blood and the beast she’s slain is dead at her feet.

Sometimes, it’s not a gift at all. 

Sometimes, it feels like a life sentence - like her own personal prison that she can never escape. 

_“Your body is like a field of stars. But you’re special - you can control the space_ between _the stars.”_

Abby is everything and nothing. 

Her minute corner of the universe is both vast and cramped; she is infinite, and yet she is confined to strict boundaries she cannot change. Her world is speckled with cosmos, and she can pass right through them or cluster them together, her very own little galaxy she can control, but it’s held out of her grasp by the ones in power. 

All she can do is fall into place in their orbit, revolving around and around where they want to go, spinning in circles with the illusion of moving forward but never actually _going_ anywhere. 

Abby’s lungs are full of stardust, and it’s becoming harder and harder to breathe. 

Just get through today. And then get through tomorrow. That's all she can do - survive another day, and then another, and another. 

And another, and another, and another-

A black hole is beginning to rip open in her chest. She’s not certain how much longer she can carry on like this. It’s a grim existence - Basha demands a warrior, and no matter what she does she knows she will never be able to live up to her expectations. Blood makes her stomach churn and bubble with nausea. The fear in her opponents’ eyes is permanently etched into her conscience. She ends life after life, and each time a piece of her dies with her victim. 

She wonders how many more until she flickers out. 

Abby thinks of her parents whenever she’s in danger of crossing her own event horizon, of being pulled into her own spiral. Memories of her mother’s golden smile and the comforting warmth of her body as she pulls her close and tells her it’s all okay; of her father’s strong arms scooping her up and spinning her around, his face lighting up with joy upon seeing her after a long day of work; of her little brother, his eyes huge and wondrous, somehow still unmarred by the horrors of the Lighthouse. She misses them dearly, but knows that her sacrifice has yielded great rewards for them. She hopes the Kree will leave them alone. 

But hushed whispers in passing have told her that the humans are no longer enslaved by Kasius, that they’ve slipped through his fingers and stamped him down, and she wonders now if this has been worth it after all. 


End file.
